Alright, obviously I took up the challenge thinking that the set of SPM results (which wasn't that superb anyway) was good enough which gave me some confidence to pursue my studies abroad here in Japan (Note: The idea of getting out of the country and living in a country which I've been so fond of, plus during the time when most of friends around me are going abroad and me, not seeing myself able to do that due to the financial status of my family, the idea was pretty tempting) although I knew I have to take the risks as stated in the blue agreement letters by the Public Service Department of Malaysia, stating that if I were to fail to run my responsibility as a scholar accordingly to their conditions, they can anytime take away the scholarship plus every single cent that I've been graciously given will be needed to be returned to them. I still can recall vividly when I showed my Mom exactly where it was stated in the agreement letters and this is what she said to me in Mandarin my mother tongue, "Son, (if that were to happen) we (as in my old folks) only have 2 (sticks of) lives to return." That, I believe can convince you on how my family's financial status was and is. I being real young at time plus my Dad away in overseas somewhere (Hong Kong, I think) for a business trip, truly cracked my head, lost in bewilderness wondering whether to take it or not and by just imagining the "if"s were good enough to make me faint.
Both Mom and Dad obviously knew that it was golden opportunity for me and Dad, who wasn't around locally that time, from the moment he got to know that I got through the interview (the story before I got through that is a pretty long story, I shall take it off from this post and talk about it next time. Keyword: Birth certificates), he told me straight away to take it which equally means sign the agreement letters and send it out. Phew, come to think of it now, Dad had lots of courage to put his trust on me but I guess any fathers would manage to decide at those stages even though knowing the risks when things aren't going as expected. That's how it basically began. A year of both language preparation and basic studies in a local university (University Technology of Malaysia, KL), fly to Japan and reach Narita in April 2001 (can't describe how excited I was), did another year of language studies in a Japanese Language school in Shinjuku, sat for an examination which decided my life for the next 3 years spent in Kumamoto where I got my diploma from Kumamoto National College of Technology. After graduating from there (after a dreadful year of research on computer graphics and also the entrance examinations for pursuing degree in a university), I entered Chiba University which was my top choice from 3 universities I managed to get through (Recommendation from college for Chiba University based on results, Passed entrance exams for Toyohashi and Kagoshima University) and here I am, currently belonging to Miyake Tsumura Nakaguchi Laboratory, continuing on with a research on computer graphics. Many maybe wondering, "Computer graphics again? I thought you mentioned the word dreadful during your time in college." Yes, I did say that and let me just say that I'm not the type who would take risks by simply changing my major though I may have lost some passion for it. I believed that it would be a waste if I were to give up just there plus there's no assurance that I could do well in some other line (I realized now that it is not always so). So, I simply decide on something which I have already started off, at least with some basic knowledge in it and I simply thought to myself that if I were to be able to brush up my skills more, then I should be alright. Instead of working to feed ideas on where my passion may grow, I gave myself a so-called "safe" choice which was the most satisfying one at that very moment.
To cut the story short, I've made my choice to continue on as a researcher (Note: See the title of this post, I put the word journey in aprostrophes because I want to stress that it's merely a journey and not an ultimate path that I have for myself for I have a different ideal future. That is why it is not "life" as a researcher) in this lab for the next 2 years ahead as well. Yes, after graduating with a degree, I am continuing to be a master degree student in the same lab of the same university, perhaps dealing with the same research or perhaps something in the same area of research. Since the choice has been done and though I know that I have got all the freedom in the world to say "I quit this idea" and abort whatever I am doing now, I will have to walk this journey with hope in my heart saying that, "Hey, I know it's going to be tough on you, Endoru but you know what good points it will bring to you when you are equipped with all the skills through your experiences as a researcher so this is it, ahoy, welcome to your challenge of life." I may sound exaggerating and I know that there are further more challenging things in life in store for me but as for the very moment, this is the biggest challenge I have to face and I know, I truly know it's going to be rough journey awaiting for me to wander till I clear this whole stage.
That idea of walking down that very journey led me to this very idea (to start of this research log) to keep myself clear of my goals, to put pieces of thoughts scrambled in my mind in order, to simply write whatever that barges into my mind and at the same time, share with others hoping to get some concrete discussions or comments, both moral and technical support from people all over the world. Most of the time, I guess I just want to keep myself clear of all the concepts which will pop up during this journey by asking myself the 5Ws for I want to be able to explain and describe things even in layman terms to keep myself aware of my knowledge, to keep myself in tact of whatever I've learnt and also to convey confidently to others without much fuss which will definitely keep my heart at ease when I find myself lost in the realm of uncertainty. By this, I hope to learn a right pose of a researcher, knowing the essence on how to approach a problem, solving it with a concrete scientific thinking and at the very same time, sharpening my mind to digest complex methologies that comes along which is mostly the case when you survey technical papers in the international scale. With this, I hope to be able to at least sweep the inferiority growing in me (I classify myself as a never satisfied perfectionist. This may sound good but don't trust your eyes for I would actually throw things aside when I find it too difficult because when I feel that I can't catch the whole idea, I rather not have it at the first place. That sort of perfectionist. *haha* Me bullshitting ay.), seeing myself lack of qualities being a researcher.
This leads me to my very first few questions. First of all, am I able to answer when a 3 year old kid comes up to me and ask, "What's engineering?" or "What's research?" or even like "What does an engineering/a researcher do?". I don't think I can give a real simple answer to all of that but, come to really think of it what are the odds of a kid asking me that question plus, the definition of both engineering and research is wide depending to the area of technology but I guess for such a question, we have to answer it in a broad perspective, as in a broad meaning which fits any cases.
Questions #1
- Basic questions, what's engineering and what's research?
- What does an engineer do and what does a researcher do?
- What qualities you see that an engineer or a researcher has or you think they should have?
Definitions given by the world and discussion on it
- Engineering : the application of scientific and mathematical principles to practical ends such as the design, manufacture, and operation of efficient and economical structures, machines, processes, and systems.
- Research : scholarly or scientific investigation or inquiry; to study (something) thoroughly so as to present in a detailed, accurate manner
- Enginneer : one who is trained or professionally engaged in a branch of engineering; To plan, manage, and put through by skillful acts or contrivance; maneuver
- Researcher : one who devotes oneself to conduct research. In the field of scientific research, also called an investigator or scientist.
Have a say on this topic?
- Share with me your two cents, your opinions, your critisims, your comments, your say on what you have in mind for it.
- Enlighten me with far much more convincing answers or even words that can boggle my mind, answers from perspectives I never ever thought off, expressions which blows my mind off by saying, "WOW, that's IT !".
That's it. My first log.
- To recall why I started off this journey
- To reconfirm what situation I am placed in right now
- To know the basics on what this journey is all about
- To try to give myself a clear potrait of what an engineer or a researcher should be